Stan Musil Stans Music: Vol. 1
Christmas Noodle Soup for the Slightly-Snobbish Soul
By Stan Musil
I’ll admit it’s odd to have my inaugural column devoted to Christmas music of all things — a genre that, in its Platonic Pop Ideal, has the texture of chicken broth and the nutritional properties of high fructose corn syrup. However you take it down, it’s the kind of music that stings your eyes, clears your nasal cavity, and tweaks your jawline, as if you’d decided to suck on a lemon.
All that’s to say: I love Christmas music, and any critic arguing otherwise is a soon-to-be-AI’ed hack. On this beat, we only promote music. If we dislike something, we simply don’t speak about it.
To wit, I’m highlighting what I think are a few out-of-the-way Christmas tracks. Take or leave as you will.
This is a favorite. One of the major “cult bands” of the last two-plus decades, I won’t pretend to be a Low expert, but I can say that their work is a wonderful example of what happens when minimalism actually works. All the more awful to learn that MiMi Parker, the band’s lead vocalist and drummer, passed away in November. (Among the many remembrances of Parker, I appreciated this piece.)
“Just Like Christmas” is evocative, heartfelt, and even a little funny (?). To my wonky, untrained ear, I keep wanting the chord progression to reach some dizzying climax; for the distortion and reverb to explode into overdrive the way they would in a shoegaze treatment of this song. Fortunately, the song never does any of that, which is why it’s good. This is artistry defined by discipline and restraint. By suggesting a soundscape rather than forcing one.
Based on purely anecdotal evidence, it seems like the most popular version of this piece is the traditional carol arrangement.
That is a good song. This is a better one.
Now, I should give fair warning — anyone who cannot not jam out to organ music, preferably at a deafening volume, will not be enjoying my contributions to The Happy Few. All the same, Brahms’s work adds depth, color, and complexity to the original melody.1 Listen to the pieces back-to-back. There are moments when Brahms takes unexpected, even haunting turns, then there are moments when he’s somehow operating in familiar territory: at least once he seems to quote “Once In Royal David’s City,” though I have no idea if he means to or not. Per a YouTube video, this is also the last composition Brahms ever published.
This is a Tom Waits song.
I don’t have much to say about “Christmas Blues.” Canned Heat’s rollicking banger bangs with authority.2
I will note that the harmonica solo neatly slots into the storied tradition of Bad Harmonica Solos, which is one of the weirder phenomenons in all popular music. For some reason, the harmonica seems to be the one instrument that literally no one is expected to play well. I know this because on the rare occasion someone actually is good, the collective response is wow, can’t believe this person actually is good. In “Christmas Blues,” the harmonica teeters and totters at the upper register. It would be uncharitable to say it falls out of tune. It would be untrue to say it remains in.
Yes, this is the extent of my critical powers. I welcome more technical insights from readers going forward, but know that I personally won’t be dishing any music theory.
Also my roommate, Basement Eddie, was adamant about including this song.