Stories, Spells, and Tattletales

Part One of an Accidental Series on the Word “Poshlost”

Whenever people sense that society is experiencing some sort of crisis, the first thing we like to do is tell a story about the crisis.

This is a funny impulse. After all, society is always in some kind of a crisis, and it’s not clear if language or storytelling have been especially helpful in providing a solution. For instance, can we even agree on a definition of society? Are we certain society exists? (There is some debate.) And what about stories? Can stories really stop, mitigate, or solve a crisis? I think we’re permitted to hope, but we should keep in mind that there’s a difference between telling a story and casting a spell, and either way, both are just as likely to start a crisis as end one.

Imagine, for example, you’re back in elementary school — let’s say fourth or fifth grade, when things start to get a little tricky.

Until now each of your classmates have been, for all intents and purposes, indistinguishable, because when you’re five years old, every other five-year-old you encounter is effectively the same. Jack is funny, but so is Liam, and so is Maggie. Danny is also very funny, and every time you’re eating lunch or playing on the monkey bars, Rachel makes faces that are so funny. Rachel is a goofball, and so is Jack. None of this is a matter of opinion. Everyone thinks so. Your class’s favorite book is “We’re Different, We’re The Same.” The first part is something you have to learn.

But by the time you’ve entered fourth or fifth grade, the book’s lesson is losing its stability. Differences are increasingly more noticeable, while similarities are now differentiated by way of superlatives. Liam may be funny, but Jack is the funniest. It used to be that everyone was pretty good at soccer, but now Maggie is very good. Liam is serviceable, but Rachel doesn’t play soccer. She makes faces and fart jokes.

One day a rumor starts that Maggie likes Jack. Maggie starts the rumor. Does Jack like Maggie? Rachel, who has been always comfortable crossing between the faerie realms of boys and girls, is sent to ask. But being a prankster, and perhaps realizing her own nascent feelings toward Jack, Rachel decides to alter the story. She whispers into Jack’s ear, Maggie likes Danny.

This isn’t what Jack was expecting. His heart is hot.

Rachel makes a face, coy and cunning. Does Danny like Maggie?

Jack’s heart heaves. Is hoisted.

Rachel turns and grins in the direction of Maggie.

Maggie, who has always been vain.

Danny, who knows nothing.

Liam, who witnessed it all unfold.

Wars have been started for less.